Junk Food Movies and Franchises

I have seen a lot of bad and dumb movies. Occasionally there will be a movie that is dumb or bad but still incredibly entertaining. These movies are sort of in the realm of it's so bad it's good. I refer to these as junk food movies. Junk food movies are very easy to watch and will always keep me entertained but will fall apart very fast or are just incredibly stupid if you think about them too hard. Today I wanted to share some of my favorite junk food movies. Some of these are a bit of a cheat as I am coving multiple in a series in some of these spots but these are still all movies that I am very entertained by. I am not going to go as deep into these as we all know they are not great when you break them down but will share some of the fun things about them. With that being said, here are some junk food movies and franchises that are good to just turn your brain off and enjoy.

Franchises

1. Godzilla X King Kong Monsterverse

This franchise consists of 4 films all about Universal Studios' biggest monsters, Godzilla and King Kong. They deliver exactly what you want from monster movies, mass destruction and giant monster mayhem. The two Godzilla movies give you Godzilla fighting a bunch of monsters such as giant bugs and 2 headed dragons. For King Kong, we get Kong: Skull Island which gives us King Kong destroying tons of helicopters and fighting dinosaurs. This franchise also gives us a giant showdown between the two where we get to see Godzilla fight King Kong not one but three times and absolutely destroy downtown Shanghai. The human characters are all forgettable and the plot doesn't really hold together at all but in the end, I'm there to watch the giant monkey hit the dinosaur with the boat propeller.

2. Transformers Franchise

The Transformers franchise is one of the flashiest of the junk food franchises. The plot takes a back seat in these films as there are too many characters with too many backstories going on. Where this franchise succeeds is with the big boomy action sequences. We get to see giant robots fighting each other while casually destroying cities whether it be a rural city, Chicago, or a city in Hong Kong. The further these movies go, the more nonsensical they get. By the end of the franchise, the movies just through in Transformers riding on dinosaur robots for no reason other than it's cool. This franchise delivers dinosaur robots, monkey robots, and robots that can turn into people. It doesn't make much sense but it's so much fun to watch.

3. Fast and the Furious Franchise

The Fast and the Furious Franchise transformed from a fairly grounded franchise to a full-blown bonkers junk food franchise. The first three or four films are pretty grounded mostly about some street racers trying to assist the FBI in taking down some sort of a criminal. Fast Five is where everything goes crazy. The franchise goes from being about street racing to being about heists and espionage. Fast Five has two cars pulling a giant safe through Rio while being chased by cops and that's the most normal thing that happens. From there, we have cars fighting tanks, cars flying out of airplanes, cars running from submarines, giant magnet cars, and all sorts of other nonsense. The characters are super fun in these movies and everything is just so much fun to watch. These movies may break every law of physics but they are a blast to watch.

4. Jurassic World Trilogy

The Jurassic World trilogy took one of the greatest movies ever made and turned it into a goofy junk food franchise. The stories in these movies are just so goofy with characters that I only know by their actor names. Jurassic World gives us Chris Pratt riding a motorcycle with velociraptors plus a T-Rex velociraptor tag team fight, which is awesome. From there, we get really stupid plots that have something to do with black-market dinosaur dealing, killer locusts, and developing a new dinosaur because old dinosaurs are boring. It gets to the point where the third film is a globetrotting spy film but with dinosaurs which sounds really stupid because it is. After the experience of the first Jurassic World, I was really just there to see the dinosaurs go nom and all of these movies gave me that.

5. The Expendables Franchise

The Expendables takes everything fun, stupid, and cheesy about classic 80s action movies and throws it all into one franchise. This franchise brings together action heroes such as Sylvester Stallone, Arnold Schwarzenegger. Bruce Willis, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, and Jason Statham to blow up bad guys and that's just the first film. The other films build on this epic roster. There isn't much of a plot in this as these movies are essentially the equivalent of taking your action figures and smashing them together but that's really all this film needs to be awesome. All they needed to do was give big action sequences with famous action stars trading one-liners and that is exactly what these movies are. The action sequences of these films are so go, that you just kind of forget how stupid the plot actually is.

6. Venom Franchise

The Venom franchise is the junk food of the Sony Spider-verse. This franchise currently has two movies (Venom and Venom: Let There Be Carnage) with a third on the way. If the name Let There Be Carnage is any indication, these movies are unashamedly goofy. The bromance between Eddie and Venom is easily the best part of these movies with the plot, other characters, and villains taking a back seat. I am just here to see Eddie and Venom banter back and forth as well as occasionally eat a few heads. The plot is bogged down by a bunch of journalist nonsense but at its core, I get to see two giant goop monsters fight each other which is all I really need.

7. The Meg Franchise

The Meg Franchise is the big dumb shark franchise that I like the most. The films try to be serious at first with stories about ocean exploration, studies of trenches, and protecting people from killer sharks. It utterly fails at this end and ends up just embracing the idea of being a big dumb shark movie. We get lots of fun Jason Statham action moments such as Jason Statham on a jet ski fighting giant sharks, Jason Statham harpooning a shark in the head and Jason Statham somehow outswimming a shark (don't worry about that logic). The second film really embraces the silliness with the human characters coming across as intentionally goofy In the end, I don't care about environmental jargon and ocean facts, I just want to see Jason Statham on a jet ski fighting a bunch of giant sharks.

8. The Rock Junk Food Movies

This is technically more of a subgenre than a franchise but I am still grouping these movies together as they are very similar. These movies are big dumb action movies starring Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. There is San Andreas, where Dwayne Johnson flies through a city being destroyed by a hurricane in a helicopter trying to rescue his daughter. There is Skyscraper, where Dwayne Johnson is doing his version of Die Hard except he has a metal leg for some reason. Finally, there is Rampage which has Dwayne Johnson with a giant monkey fighting a giant flying wolf and a giant alligator. You have these three giant animals fighting each with Dwayne Johnson randomly in the middle of it getting in on the fight. None of this makes any sense but I watch these movies because they are so over the top and entertaining.

9. Joel Schumacher's Batman Movies

These are the 90s era Batman movies where Joel Schumacher took over as director. These movies have cheesy one liners, added nipples on the Bat Suit and have over the top goofy villains. These movies were created mainly to sell toys. Batman Forever gives us a super high energy Jim Carey and Tommy Lee Jones, showed us Robin's "epic" laundry karate, and gave us the horned up for Batman, Dr. Chase. Batman and Robin includes Arnold Schwarzenegger as Mr. Freeze and all his cheesy ice puns, Poison Ivy and all her puns, and Batman and Robin and all their puns. Basically this movie is all bad puns. We also get the iconic Bat Credit Card. "Never leave the cave without it". Joel Schumacher made exactly what he was going for which was bad for Batman but hilarious for everyone else.

Individual Movies

1. Independence Day

Independence Day is one of the most patriotic movies out there but also really stupid at times. It is just a typical alien invasion movie. It has world icons being destroyed, aerial attacks, and mass hysteria but enough charm that makes it all okay. The movie goes from Will Smith punching an alien in the face and saying "Welcome to Earth" to the president of the USA giving an amazing speech "Today we celebrate our Independence Day". It's stupid and still with so much destruction but also really awesome with some great characters.

2. Snakes on a Plane

If the name isn't indication enough, this is a pretty dumb movie. There isn't that much to it. Snakes get on a plane to kill some FBI witness. Sam Jackson gets to be Sam Jackson. Snakes bite people's no-no parts. We get an iconic line "I've had it with these Monkey Flying snakes on this Monday to Friday plane!" (I substituted out some of Sam Jackson's favorite words". The movie is called Snakes on a Plane. You get exactly what was advertised, snakes on a plane.

3. Moonraker

Moonraker was the peak campiness for the James Bond franchise. This movie includes a trip to the moon and a random space battle. Not something I expected to get out of a James Bond movie, but here we are. This movie is absolute nonsense from beginning to end. If a moon battle isn't enough, this movie also has a henchman with metal teeth that bite through things named Jaws. The movie is incredibly stupid but also very entertaining. It really set the campy tone for the Roger Moore era of James Bond.

4. Rocky IV

Rocky IV exists for one reason and one reason only, to let Rocky punch communism in the face. It's an over-the-top movie that was meant to stir American pride during the Cold War. There's the steroid-filled Russian, a random homecare robot that is there to "take care of" Pauly, and more montages than can be counted on a hand. But in the end, it gives you what you want, Rocky in a boxing match against the commies.

5. Deep Blue Sea

Deep Blue Sea is another dumb shark movie but this time it has super smart sharks and Sam Jackson. The characters in this movie had the genius idea to make super-intelligent sharks where of course nothing could ever go wrong. It has sharks eating people, sharks getting electrocuted and sharks getting blown up. Everything you could want from a dumb shark movie.

6. Wonder Woman 1984

Wonder Woman 1984 is the junk food movie of the DCEU. It has a completely nonsensical plot but is very entertaining. It includes a magic wishing rock and an over-the-top Pedro Pascal. It also decides to bring Steve Trevor back by having him possess the body of some random guy and Diana is just cool with that. It's an extremely cheesy 80s nostalgia movie but it gets the job done.

7. Spider-Man 3

Spider-Man 3 is another Marvel junk food movie. There are some really cool moments in this movie specifically at the end but the whole basic conflict is just really stupid. MJ and Peter's relationship rift is just so stupid. There is also just so much laughably bad dialogue. What takes the cake is the whole black Spider-Man subplot and dancing overconfident emo Peter. It's hilarious because of how bad it is.

8. Jason X

Jason X is the cheesiest movie in the Friday the 13th franchise which is saying a lot considering some of them are pretty bad. Just starting off, this movie hits way into left field and takes Jason into space. From there we get a martial arts fighting robot with all sorts of one-liners and cyborg Uber-Jason. At this point, I'm sure the franchise was just going all out with the stupidness. When you have a movie with space, backflipping robots, and a cyborg uber-Jason, logic and a cohesive story really just go out the window.

9. Armageddon

Armageddon is another dumb end-of-the-world movie. This time America is trying to stop an asteroid from crashing into it. This movie has a lot of fun characters and actors. It has a lot of fun moments and is never dull. Of course, nothing about the movie makes any sense like why is it easier to train a bunch of oiler drillers to be astronauts than it is to teach a bunch of astronauts how to drill a hole or the fact that the speed they have to travel to get on the asteroid would kill everyone on the space ship but that doesn't matter. The world needed saving and apparently, only Bruce Willis and his crew could do.

10. Beast

Idris Elba fights a lion. There really isn't that much more to this movie. You get characters making stupid decisions, a lion mauling bad guys and Idris Elba fighting hand-to-hand against a lion. None of this makes any sense but it is still so much fun. There is also some sort of subplot about Idris Elba's dead wife but that's not important here. Idris Elba fights a lion. That's all this movie really needs.

11. Moonfall

` Moonfall is another dumb disaster movie. In this movie, we have the moon crashing into the Earth. This movie is about as dumb as it sounds. Everyone is watching this movie just to see the mass destruction. All of the characters are mediocre at best. There is mass destruction, lapses in gravity, people flying up to the moon in a rocket, and Sam Tarly from Game of Thrones becomes a moon boy. Surprisingly enough, there is actually a big twist in this movie and it is just as dumb as one would expect and the movie goes all in on it. It's a movie about the moon crashing into the Earth. Don't expect too much from it.

12. Cocaine Bear

This movie is about, you guessed it, a bear on cocaine. You get exactly what you pay for with this movie. A bear does cocaine, it eats people, and shenanigans ensue. The movie embraces its craziness by making some extremely funny characters and moments. Some of the human moments are fun but in the end that is not why people are there. There's a bear. It does cocaine. Don't think too hard about it.

13. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2

This is a very campy Ninja Turtles movie. Parents complained about the first one having too much violence so now the weapons they used are literally glued to their shells. Instead of using their weapons, we see the ninja turtles whacking people around with meat sticks, pool noodles, and other goofy items. There is also a random dance number with Vanilla Ice. The main story has something to do with Ooze but it is very much overshadowed by the goofiness of everything. It is very much a product of the 90s.

14. Mars Attacks

This is a very goofy film from Tim Burton. It is about aliens from Mars attacking Earth. There is no clear plot in the story. We just follow around random characters that get killed by aliens and somehow it works just because of the cast. The movie has Natalie Portman, Pierce Brosnan, Michael J Fox, Danny DeVito, Martin Short, Glen Close, Tom Jones, and Jack Nicholson somehow. All these actors have no reason to be in this movie but here they are. To top it all off, the aliens are defeated by country music because somehow it makes their heads blow up. There is just so much random destruction and alien shenanigans, you just want to turn your brain off and enjoy.